Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i think i have two assholes
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
