dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize