The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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