please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
