walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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