Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
