It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
