I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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