Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
