She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
