He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
