I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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