Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I looked at my own cervix.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
