nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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