you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
My legs feel like baby dolphins
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
