I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
