Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
