I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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