i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
