Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
