guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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