I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
the liver wants what the liver wants
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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