so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
