I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
