I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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