1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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