Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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