i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
