Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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