So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
