u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
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