May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Randomize
