I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
