that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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