I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
