the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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