you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Randomize
