he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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