DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
