you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
