whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
