do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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