went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
