yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
