Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
