I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
