Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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