Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize