Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
We were destined to go to rehab together
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
