If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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