Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
