OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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