i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Randomize
