What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
