You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
