I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize