Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
