susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
