Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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