My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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