They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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