nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize