You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
