It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
