This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
you have to choose: penises or morals?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
