You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
