you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
