Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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