im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
