ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
There's always time for handjobs
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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