If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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