my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize