People in love make me want to vomit
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Randomize
