how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
