I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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