I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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