your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
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