I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
