Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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