okay pat passed out under dana's car
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
